Vicious Cycles of Crazy

I know better.  You probably do, too.  We’re supposed to set boundaries.  We’re supposed to know when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”  We should be confident enough and self-assured enough to not get caught up in pleasing people.  Loving people—Yes!  Pleasing people—not necessarily!  Sometimes we confuse the two.  

Yet so many times, I find myself right back in a cycle of piling more and more stuff on my plate—more stuff than I have been given the grace to handle.  For me that is the key to knowing when I’ve taken on too much—there is no grace.  None extended to me, and especially none for me to extend to others.  I’m short-tempered, sleep deprived and hard to get along with—not very gracious.

Sometimes I live as if the concept of being “in over my head” is scriptural.  I function as if the only way to allow God to move in my life is for Him to constantly come to my rescue.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love being rescued.  I love when a deadline is looming, and I cry out in desperation for inspiration and help.  I love it when it comes.  And God is faithful.  He hears the cries of His people—even me.  

Often, I want to think that I would not have been so desperate if God had inspired me earlier, but  if I’m completely honest, earlier I was probably so busy with stuff I was not supposed to be doing that had inspiration dawned, I most likely would have used it on the wrong project, or I wouldn't have recognized it as inspiration at all!

When I get into these vicious cycles of crazy, I try to apply 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  But then there’s the problem of the truth of this passage.  Grace is sufficient for my weakness.  While I’m piling on, saying yes to everything, and pretending to be a Jack of All Trades (and clearly the Master of None), I’m touting my strengths (real or imagined), I am moving in the flesh.  And my flesh, by its very nature, cannot give birth to things of the Spirit.

So as I’m travelling around this mountain pass—AGAIN—I’m asking the Holy Spirit to continue to be my teacher and helper.  I have learned the power of the truth of 2 Corinthians 10:5 “… and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  Is it possible that I need to also apply that truth to appointments, opportunities, projects and such?  What if before I said “yes” to something, I actually took it to Jesus and made the very idea of it obedient to His plan for me, rather than simply seeing a tiny opening in my calendar that I can fill.  What a concept?  How many more truly good things could I say “yes” to, if I were simply willing to say “no” when “no” is what Jesus wanted me to say?

What do you need to take to Jesus?  What do you need to say “yes” to?  I’m praying that the next season of ministry for you will be filled with grace beyond measure and absolutely no crazy from self-imposed chaos!

(This article was written in September 2012 and published in Share the Music a newsletter from Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing for folks  involved in children's music.  It is shared her with permission.)